do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Green mimosas i think yes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
