Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
