Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
