honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
