I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
