Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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