She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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