I must be too annoying 4 u.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
