This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm like, not good at living.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
