I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
