The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Randomize
