Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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