Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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