fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
