You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
