Im at strip club and am horny
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
did i walk over a car last night?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
