I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
