Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
