brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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