are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
