sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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