So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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