oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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