i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?