I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Terrible idea I love it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
