I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
