So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
