ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
