I wish you could order shots online.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
