At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
