just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
