life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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