is your mom at the bar?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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