we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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