I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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