Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
