You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
