Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
