I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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