I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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