please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
