i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Did I show you my penis last night?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My bed smells like the plague
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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