if we break up, who will get the dealer?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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