are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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