Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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