Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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