She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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