you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
