He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
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I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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