I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
