So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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