my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
