he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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