yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
There's always time for handjobs
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need to align my fucking chakras
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize