how do flat chested girls get laid?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
