i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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