Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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