Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
