I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize