We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
