I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
